The deep breath before the plunge

Tonight I embark on another adventure, a half-planned, half-unplanned romp through some very unique parts of the world. It’s tough to control your emotions when standing on the precipice of something so far out in the unknown. It’s difficult to know what to think.

I have been very fortunate in my life to know traveling, to be friends with it, and to be surrounded by those who know it as well. Someone I spoke with a few weeks ago said they firmly believe going abroad should be a mandatory component of every American child’s education. I think there’s a lot of merit to that.

There’s also the oft-quoted wisdom that those who travel discover not more of the world, but more of themselves. I would argue it’s some of both. When venturing through foreign lands, one gets exposed to things (s)he wouldn’t ordinarily. This challenges the person. And how (s)he deals with that challenge is the subsequent growth that happens.

I hope on my journey I can share some of the beauty from foreign lands, both in my writing and in my photography, and perhaps we can grow together.

The Mind-Settling Magic of 'Nature-ing Up'

Nature centers us. I find that when my mind is clouded, it’s prudent to head to some green space, even just a park. The sound of the wind, of the birds, the sight of grass and the trees and the feel of sunshine.. it helps us return to where we’re from.

In today’s world we continuously occupy boxes. We move from our bed box, to our house box, to our car box, to our work box, to a restaurant box, back to the home box. We might be unconscious to it, but it’s pretty confining.

Nature has no confinements, no order, no restraints. I’ve read before that those who live in cities or suburbs think gardens are natural, with their pleasing lines and landscaping. They’re pleasant, but they’re meant to meld with homes, with living spaces—with right angles and synthetic materials. Real nature—true nature—is not cute and comfortable and perfect. It’s wild and untamed. Visit a forest, the mountains, the beach, or even a meadow, and you’ll see that nature is chaos.

But there’s beauty in that too. There’s life. And when we return to it, even just a field in a park, we are somehow grounded. We are back in our original element, where we evolved to be. And that settles the mind.

Bigger means Better

I think one of the keys to actually bettering our world is to consider others when it’s tough. When things aren’t going well for ourselves, it’s important to remember there are literally billions of others fighting a similar battle—and more than likely, theirs is much more difficult. Of course it’s easy to proclaim such things, simple as they are, but it’s infinitely harder to actually do follow through. But let’s try to challenge ourselves to see the bigger picture, even when life seems tough. It will serve us all.

USA Independence + 243

Independence Day… to me it evokes tribalism… but also emancipation. A common goal amongst a cacophony of pessimistic, opportunistic, and idealist voices. I cannot imagine myself now, plus 243 down the line, in different circumstances. Thank you O Patriots, for forming an identity around sound and true principles.

Let’s avoid nationalism, a genuine distinction from patriotism, and celebrate the anniversary of a people proclaiming themselves free. Happy 4th.

Three hashtags for living Life

I’m currently going through thousands of pictures that I took in South America, and it’s proving to be a pretty daunting task. So for now I’m trying to primarily showcase my photography through Instagram. There are some recurring hashtags I use, and three in particular come from a quote attributed to one incredible man:

”Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wins in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” — Mark Twain

I might order them differently, but I believe these three words can serve as a compass from which to orient oneself. As far as we know, this is our one life, our one opportunity. It’s reckless to not seek adventure. I try to convey some of that in my photography, and I think little can be said against such a worldview. Live and let live.

Making Connections with People

Once at a friend's wedding I took the shuttle with a bunch of people from the hotel to the wedding site. I asked the driver for his name and played a running joke on him where I "directed" him to the wedding location (I had never been there before). When we arrived, a man riding in the shuttle tipped the driver a few bucks. I got out and shook Joe's hand and said thanks. Fast forward to the end of the wedding, Joe was willing to drive more people than the shuttle van could hold and even waited at the hotel for everyone to change into causal clothes before driving us to the after-party bar. While loitering in front of the hotel, waiting for the last few people to board, he said, "they gotta hurry up, if my boss sees us he'll make me park the van." He was willing to help us out that much because we treated him like a person and made a connection with him. Joe in Portland, if I ever run into you again, I owe you a beer. Thank you. Now make a right.

For Your Consideration

In my Granny’s garage she has a small placard on a cupboard that reads, “It’s nice to be important but it’s more important to be nice.” I would see it often growing up when helping out, and I always thought it was a clever phrase. Being nice is important—I like to use the word kindness. It goes a long way. But I believe there’s another word that’s even more crucial to our species’ cohabitation on this planet.

That word is “considerate.” It’s different than kind. One can be reactively or passively kind. If someone stops you on the street and asks for directions, you can be kind and polite and offer to walk them to their destination. But being considerate requires action. It’s an active quality, to be considerate. It means you are thinking of others, you’re thinking outside of just yourself. You’re considering other possibilities, you’re looking beyond the obvious reality in front of you.

If we can be more considerate as a species, we’ll fare much better on this planet. There would be less hunger, less corruption, less suffering. And I think we’d feel better, be happier. Let’s consider other people, other options, other possibilities. Let’s be a considerate species.

My Father's Greatest Lesson

When Cal Fussman interviewed famous people, he would often ask the powerful, “what’s the greatest lesson your father ever taught you?” Apparently it would bring some to tears, or at least invoke deep reflection. I asked myself this recently, and it was actually a fairly easy answer.

My Grandpa was a civil engineer—he designed water systems for cities all over the world throughout the ‘70s, ‘80s, and ‘90s. This meant he traveled a lot, and his family often went with him (this eventually trickled down to me and explains why I love to travel so much). My Dad told me when he was living in Malaysia at 17, he learned something that transformed him: no matter what language they speak, where they are born, or how they live, people all laugh and cry and smile for the same reasons.

Every single person on the planet shares this. We all laugh at funny things, we all smile when we’re happy or joyous, and we all cry when we're sad. There isn’t a single culture on Earth that deviates from this—because we are all human. It’s in our biology. From this perspective, it’s clear our cultural and language differences are relatively minor. We might eat different food or ascribe to different fashions or lifestyles, but we are all human. Our beliefs regarding religion or politics or society might differ, but we are all the same species.

This idea is profound. I can only imagine how transformative it was for my dad at 17. He taught me this growing up, both within our diverse community where we lived and in showing me different parts of the world. It’s held true for me my whole life, and has helped me forge connections with people from all backgrounds. Some of my greatest friendships have come from it.

And I believe our planet needs more of it. Let’s recognize that we all laugh and cry and smile for the same reasons. Let’s recognize that we are all one species. Let’s recognize that we’re all on this one little rock together.

Thanks Dad for the great lesson.

Resolve: A thought derived from No Internet

In 2011 I lived in Cape Town, South Africa, and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It’s an incredible city with an extensive history and a smorgasbord of cultures infused together. For about 6 months I lived in a house in the first suburb outside of town, Woodstock (the name only half alludes to what this town was like—for another day’s post). I had a great roommate and life was grand. The most unique thing about my living situation is we didn’t have internet at the house. And because we were pretty far from downtown, and the cafes in the area were only just starting to provide WiFi to customers, I went for prolonged amounts of time without an internet connection. It was a big adaptation to make, but once I did, I absolutely loved it. I averaged about two books a week—and I’m not a particularly fast reader—there was simply no other entertainment available. We didn’t get a DVD player until my last month there, and so mostly didn’t have TV. I spent a lot of my time reading and thinking. 

The environment afforded me clarity that I had never yet experienced. I had the time and space to think about deep things—my philosophy of life, the world, our species, etc. One thing I kept coming back to was my personal philosophy, my morals, my principles. I read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey and it deeply influenced me. One of the central theses in that book is that the most effective people are principle-centered; their lives are not centered around their career, or their significant other, or family, but a set of principles that they deeply believe in and live through. I spent many an afternoon deciding what my own principles should be. It’s something I’m still working on, and will be a major component of the upcoming book. I arrived at three: Respect, Responsibility, and Resolve. They are all interrelated, and I’ll touch more on them in future posts. 

But the impetus for me writing this today was the last one, Resolve. It’s a very emotional thing, resolve. I think of Viktor Frankl, and how he vehemently proclaims that one can choose their path, choose the way (s)he will live their life, regardless of circumstances. It’s powerful. And you need power to have resolve. We are powerful beings, and if we choose resolve, if we choose to have it, we can accomplish anything. It’s the basis for all achievement in human history. The United States resolved to go to the moon, and so they did. Much of Europe resolved to form a peaceful union, and thus the EU exists today. Larry Page and Sergey Brin resolved to organize the world’s information and make it more accessible and useful, and Google was born. Successful people have resolve. They make a choice that they will do or go after what they want, and they simply do it. “Hard” doesn’t matter. Obstacles don’t matter. Time and effort and sweat and tears don’t matter. I believe Resolve is one of the core tenets of accomplishing what we want in life. First we decide what we want, and second we make sure—do we really want it? Why do we want it? Do we really want it? And once we know we do, in our deepest of hearts, we resolve to do it, no matter what. Find your Resolve for what matters most. Let’s change the world.

Patriotism

Do people ever go to the political rallies of their candidate’s opponent? When’s the last time someone has done that? Shouldn’t we see what the opposition has to say, shouldn’t we try to understand their platform? If you say the rally is all hype and no substance, isn’t the same true for your own candidate’s rally? And the bigger question: if the rallies are all hype and no substance, why do we even have them? Why do we blindly support this person or the other? Part of it is our own biology, our psychology, of wanting to belong, to be surrounded by people who are like us. And that biology is an underlying root to a lot of our species’ issues—but that’s for other posts. Being patriotic, being a responsible citizen, is knowing the agenda  of all candidates, not just your own. It is patriotic to listen to the opposition, to understand them, to hear what they have to say. And to consider their perspective for yourself. Being patriotic is recognizing that it’s okay to disagree, but also believing that the other side wants the best for themselves and their country as well—the opposition isn’t evil. The opposition is human. If we can adopt a more unified political perspective, that everyone is doing what they believe is best for themselves and humanity, then we can achieve progress. Being patriotic is being understanding. Being patriotic is having a wider perspective. Being a patriot is not being about you, but being about all.

One big beautiful amazing world

I love when people will engage in conversation about the planet’s beauty; everyone has experienced it at one point or another, whether it’s camping, traveling in a different country, or walking to the grocery store. We are so lucky. I always bring up what I call the Star Wars comparison (or Star Trek if it makes you feel better). In those universes, there are thousands of planets with all these different crazy environments. There’s the forest world that’s one big huge jungle, there’s the volcano and lava world that Anakin and Obi-Wan fight on, there’s that eerie, stormy water world where the clones are made, the list goes on. They’re all completely different and when you’re immersed in the story they definitely make you feel like it’s a galaxy full of awesome (literally) places. But you know what I tell people? This still blows my mind—Earth is all of those things. Earth has all of it—the jungles, the volcanoes, the oceans and storms… Earth has glaciers and mountains and huge forests and swamps and great plains and steppes and deserts and coral reefs and coastlines. It’s pretty amazing if you think about it. All of those crazy worlds in those stories were inspired by some place on Earth. And our world is not just one of those things, but all of them, all the time. Earth is simply incredible. I feel proud to be from this world, I’m honored to live here. It’s an unbelievable privilege. It sure is one big beautiful amazing world.

How do you spend your time?

When interviewing people I like to ask the same few questions, to really capture who that person is right now. One question I tend to ask is particularly powerful: “How do you spend your time?” When someone is posed with this query, as direct yet innocuous as it is, (s)he usually pauses to reflect. We are often so involved with our own lives that we don’t realize how we are living them. Do you work for the majority of your waking hours? How much do you sleep? Do you devote any time to interests or hobbies, or are you at the mercy of your phone and its arsenal of attention-demanding apps?  How much time do you spend with family? When you actually write down what you did each day, and how much time you spent on each activity, what you see can be surprising. I find it to be a great strategy for evaluating my direction. Because although the “I don’t have time” mantra is cited by many, the fact is we all have the same amount of time: there are twenty-four hours in each day. A lot of people engage in regular activities without consciously making a choice. It can help to pose this question to ourselves, to check-in, to ensure we are living our life the way we want. We are what we think about, what we repeatedly do. We are how we spend our time. Thus I regularly try to ask myself: “How are you spending your time?"

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Man’s Search for Meaning lives up to its ambitious title; it is probably one of the ten most poignant books I have ever read. The pages are littered with passages and quotes that evoke inspiration, urge a call to action within your own life, induce tears of the highest emotional level, and generate just plain joy for the human experience and life itself. Do yourself a favor and go to your local library to rent this book. Then see that the book is probably on backorder, that you’re probably number 15 on the list of people who are waiting to check the book out, and go buy it on Amazon. I mean, it’s one of the greatest selling books of all time. It’s that good.

The book is divided into two main parts, the first being recollections and stories from Viktor Frankl’s experience in the concentration camps during the Nazi Holocaust of World War II, and the second being an abridged introduction to Logotherapy, a type of psychotherapy that was created and pioneered by Frankl himself. I was pleasantly surprised I was moved by the text in both sections, as I had read reviews that criticized one part of the book or the other. They are both important and essential to Frankl’s message.

Which comes out to basically this: the purpose of life is to live with meaning, to have meaning for one’s existence and experience, and it is completely up to each and every individual to determine his or her meaning in life. Frankl lays out three possible avenues for achieving meaning: through work (or service, i.e. accomplishment, a devotion to a cause higher than one’s self), through love (defining one’s own life through his or her giving to another human being or group of people), or through suffering. While the first two paths are commonly represented in other literature and conventional wisdom, Frankl focuses specifically on meaning through suffering, as most people probably do not assume that is indeed a method for living a meaningful life.

His main discovery, through his trials and tribulations during his experience in the concentration camps, is that people can have absolutely everything taken away from them except for one crucial thing: the ability to choose one’s way. Or, put in a different way, to choose one’s attitude. No matter how horrible the circumstances… being starved, beaten, and tortured in the freezing elements of German winter… one can choose to live on, to believe in whatever values or principles or morals, despite those horrendous conditions. In spite of suffering, one can choose to hold one’s self with dignity, to suffer admirably.

While this topic is definitely not a happy one, it is nonetheless extremely powerful. When faced with such circumstances, a person can choose to live on, to live in each individual moment the way (s)he deems to live. That’s incredible. Frankl quotes Nietzsche several times throughout the book: “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” Frankl himself, at various times in his life, experienced meaning in each of the three ways: his life’s work gave him meaning, his love for his wife and family gave him cause for existence, and his decision that he was not going to let his suffering define who he was or how he lived or died helped him endure the Holocaust.

I will leave with Frankl’s own words, as he says it best. If looking to be spurred to action, look no further than this excerpt from a lecture he gave on the meaning of life:

“It is we ourselves who must answer the questions that life asks of us, and to these questions we can respond only by being responsible for our existence.”

You won't remember this moment in 3 hours

You know that saying, “A year from now, you'll wish you started today?" For me, there’s not enough zip to that. I don’t think it generates the necessary sense of urgency in people. And generating, or raising, necessity is key for success, for continued commitment. Brendon Burchard talks of this at length in his book High Performance Habits. I have grown up playing sports my entire life, so for me, an athletic analogy works well. Like when you’re hurting at the end of a run and are struggling to finish.

I’m starting to get back into running. It’s something I know I can do anywhere, even while traveling. So I want to build up the habit again, because I used to love it. And it’s good for you, it’s what we’re built to do as humans.

Anyway, I was going on my third or fourth run today, and I decided to push it. It was hard. I got tired before the first mile was up. On the way back to the house, I was hurting pretty good. Towards the very end I was ready to give up. But I find I have some of my greatest epiphanies while running, or sometimes immediately after, when still flushed and exhausted. I thought to myself, “you’re not going to remember this pain, what this feels like right now, later today.” This train of thought helped me finish, and I reflected on it while doing my cool down and stretch. 

It’s been about three hours since that run, and I can’t really recall how my body felt, not exactly. I’m too far removed. It’s one of the superpowers and curses of the human mind. And I think we can use it for motivation, for gut-checks, when the going is tough. It can help to realize that in a few hours’ time… hell, in about 20 minutes, we will no longer be with the pain or the struggle. This is true with physical endeavors, mental ones, with work, with anything. That utterly agonizing work meeting? Tomorrow you might remember that it was no fun, but you won’t feel the agony any more. So focus and push through it. I think about this a lot when sitting in traffic. A week later, I can’t tell you which days I sat in traffic or which days I didn’t. Our minds adapt to the present circumstances and current environment. And if we remember that when we’re struggling or suffering, it will ignite a little light of determination, of resolution, to push through it and past it.

The Tease

I’ve found the tease to be especially prevalent amongst males in today’s culture. I do it too; sometimes I’ll tease one of my buddies, just to rub it in a little bit, to show some affection I guess, to forge connection. That’s how people justify the tease it seems. But what is the tease, really? Is it something further deep-rooted within our unconscious minds? Do we tease because we’re envious, or resentful, or unconfident? I think sometimes that is the case. Is teasing bad? Is it evil? No, not necessarily. Would it be beneficial for us to reflect on teasing, to think a little more deeply about when and why we engage in it? 

There's Room for Both

I believe there’s room for both enjoying life and being responsible global citizens. I would love to do a 30-ballbark road trip and watch a baseball game in every stadium. It’s fun to go out with friends to have some drinks. I enjoy going to the park and throwing for the dog. There’s nothing wrong with any of these activities. But there’s so much distraction out there, for everything, to capture as much of our attention 24/7/365. Is it okay to play fantasy football? Of course! But let’s also think about important issues that actually have an impact on our society, on the world our children will inherit.

Perhaps a possible compromise is to keep the big picture in view while enjoying our leisure time. On that ballpark road trip I could try talking to 5 people about important charity work. Over drinks maybe friends stray into the realm of politics—yes actually go there—and strive to have a level-headed conversation, to hear out others’ perspectives, to understand. While spending time with the dog I can reflect on how I’m feeling, how I’m doing.

It’s important to have recreation, and for that recreation to truly be recreation. I’m not saying we should never have fun and enjoy just to enjoy. But maybe we can work what really matters into that leisure time, just sporadically. Such a path might bridge those two worlds, so that we think about our one big beautiful amazing world a little more often, from a more holistic vantage point. There’s definitely room for both, but integrating them occasionally can be one solution.

Technology is a Tool

Technology has connected and isolated us more than ever before. You see jokes about it in the funny pages, and then you see it before you in restaurants. We are addicted to our phones, to the dopamine hits that are engineered by multibillion dollar companies to maintain our attention. If our attention revolves around celebrities, we don’t have the bandwidth to concern ourselves with improving our world. 

People often feel helpless in their ability to personally better the planet. Educating and teaching critical thinking skills to our youth solves longterm problems, but what can you do? I would argue for something immediate and impactful that we can all start doing today: put down our phones a little more often, and pick them up a little less often. Step away from our constructed virtual reality, and be present.

Technology is powerful, but we can control and utilize it as originally intended—as simply a tool.

Outside-In is Best

Currently we think inside-out: “I’m from this part of town,” “I live in this city,” “I’m proud to be from this state,” “I’m American,” or “I’m Chinese” or “I’m Bolivian.” We begin with our smallest locality and work our way outwards. But this pits us against nearly everyone else, because we start with the most limiting criteria. One can find differences with another by establishing their smallest geographic identity. 

An outside-in approach works better. What if we started with the largest common denominators: “We're human,” “We all live on Earth,” “We both live in the same hemisphere,” “We reside on the same continent,” “We’re both American/Chinese/Bolivian,” “We're from the same region of the country,” or “We call the same state home.” This paradigm shift enables us to view the world, and all the people in it, from a more inclusive perspective. It also reinforces the notion that it’s not about Me, it’s about universal harmony (more on that in a future post).

We are more similar than we are different. Let’s commit to adopting an outside-in approach when thinking of others.

Tired is a Mindset

There are days we are tired. On such days it can be helpful to think of the total exertion of energy by our species. How much has been accomplished, how much has been done? Can I contribute just a little bit more today? 

Adapt to One Perspective

Humans are remarkable adaptors. It seems regardless of the circumstances, if we persist long enough, we’ll get used to them. Thus humans tend to become entrenched in our own status quo. This is a big barrier to global consciousness. Mainstream media outlets discuss local news and events, the communities we call home revolve around our city and state and country, and we are sparingly exposed to heterogeneous thought. So the status quo remains what we know, what’s familiar, and we don’t think of ourselves as one species, as one planet. We divide ourselves into groups. But beyond liberalism and conservatism, South and North, East and West, there is simply humanity: we are all human, we are all more alike than we are different, and we all want the same things. We all live on the same Earth, and it sure is one big beautiful amazing world. So it’s important to remember: we are great adaptors, and we can evolve our perspective. We can raise our collective global consciousness to think and act as one, for the betterment of the entire planet.