Grandmother Mysteries

My partner and I have picked up strange vibes from the island. How can we complain? Sunrise yoga, the sound of the waves continuously firm our room, a car to take us to the very different parts of the island.

Our yoga instructor called it the grandmother of the islands, as it’s the oldest. I thought that was apt at the time. And in a way it’s true. But there’s still energy here being created. There is, as I’ve come to identify it, the effervescent flow of aloha.

There also conflict here, between ancestry and commercialism. We’re trying to navigate it the best we can. I welcome openness and discussion around it, and do my best to produce the same.

Your mysteries abound Kauai. There is much to you, that is clear. Thank you for the welcome, and permit me to learn more about Mother Earth.

Aloha Kauai

Kauai is a peculiar place, and I’m still trying to get a pulse on the island. With a canyon trail that ended in a waterfall, off-roading to a secluded beach for sunset, and stopping in at local shops throughout the day, I imagine it was a very Kauai day, albeit different than the other major Hawaiian islands. The land and vegetation is beautiful. The sea seems more wild, as if to signify you’re on the edge of the chain, the last bastion until Taiwan. Thank you Kauai for an amazing first full day. I can’t wait to further tap into your unique flavor of aloha.

Travel day to a new island

Today I was privileged to enjoy a travel day, with a pleasant early afternoon flight eastward to Kauai. The timing and time change made transportation very easy. I watched the clouds drift by while I sat in my floating throne: the exit row seat of the airplane. How incredible is it that an “ordinary” person like me can afford to travel 500 miles per hour across three time zones to an island paradise?

Upon initial assessment, that’s what Kauai appears to be. It’s the fourth island in the Hawaiian chain I’ve had the honor to visit, and they are all different. There are certainly some slow peaceful vibes here reminiscent of the Big Island, as well as the touristic energy similar to parts of Maui.

I’m eager to explore more, to really get a feel for the climate here as we traverse the other parts of the island. There will be some simple relaxation time no doubt, but mostly, I want to learn and discover. That’s what travel is—the greatest education humans can pursue.

Biological Progression

Perhaps I’m simply fortunate, but I always return to family being the most important thing in life. Our biology predisposes us to seek and form meaningful relationships. I think most of us, on the planet, do. We choose to spend our time together, not alone. And if we extrapolate that, beyond our biology, I believe we’ll collectively reach a new plane. We truly can, through small steps, change the world.

Changing Soup

If we are indeed part of one universe soup, and we do in fact have free will, or agency, then our purpose is to better the composition of the soup. Any refinement also improves our own situation, because we’re in the soup, and perhaps that’s where we get caught up. But we’re just one part, one small minuscule component of it. The point is the soup. If we can view it holistically, as part of it, its composition is blinding, overwhelming. And we can feel our unbreakable connection to it, to everything. Our purpose is beyond ourselves; it’s the soup. Or put another way, we can change the world.

Learning the Universe

I marvel at our lack of understanding of the universe. We are indeed clever monkeys, having discovered calculus and physics and politics and economics and philosophy. We resist the urge to lord over the other animals we see on this planet. And yet, we don’t know if life exists outside our planet’s atmosphere, let alone our solar system. We may have discovered the aforementioned disciplines, but have not truly figured them out: there are unsolved equations, properties of particles we don’t understand, a lack of social optimization or distribution of goods, and unanswered deep questions. Who are we? Why are we here? What is the universe? We are only at the beginning. That can be exciting or daunting. It’s up to us to collectively decide.

Hiking Solutions

Our bodies are engineered to walk within nature. This is oxymoronic from an evolutionary perspective, because Earth is nature, and humans have never been separated from it until very recently, in evolutionary terms. For most of our species’ history, we have been one with nature. I suspect this is why I enjoy hiking so much. The filtered light through the trees, the feel of dirt and mud and rock on my feet, the sound of songbirds and water. It returns my body to what it was designed for. What if the solution, the starting point to solving our global problems, was simply to return to nature more? For on the trail, perspective feels true. Who I am and where I am seems simple and clear: I am a human being walking the Earth.

Universal Immersion

There is so much I don’t know, and so much to learn and experience. I’m struck by that now after looking back on my day: being blown away by the spring blooms of flowers throughout my walk in Mountain View; feeling incredibly grateful and emotional at seeing a good friend; thoroughly enjoying a Wikipedia rabbit hole tonight. The world is beautiful, the universe mystical. I know nothing, but feel immersed within it all, a part of it. We have so much to be thankful for. Collectively, can we see that?

Considering Easter

Truthfully, Easter has never been my holiday. I don’t particularly have any affinity for the Christian tradition; but, it had always been a day to gather with family and enjoy a good meal, and to welcome the coming of spring (or some years, the full on coming of summer). Today it was that again, and I’m so grateful for it. We should think very critically and very carefully about our traditions; to throw them away wantonly would be foolish. There may be aspects of our heritage we no longer identify with, but there’s also likely many things that have continued for a reason. Easter was something I was glad to partake in today. To the coming of spring, and to all the new life we will experience moving forward.

That Hiking Thing

There’s something spiritual about hiking a mountain. Or a hill, in my case today. But we are meant to be out in nature. Not even “out in;” we are nature, we are part of nature and this Earth. One short hike provides a glimpse of that oneness. It’s the exertion, and the air and the scenery and the clambering on the crust of the Earth itself. How amazing the surface of this planet is, how lucky we are. Hiking simply proves it’s one big beautiful amazing world.

Puppy Dog Friend

They say dogs are humans’ best friends. Although my pup certainly still annoys me sometimes, he has never wavered in loyalty since the day we took him home. I’ve enjoyed taking him to the park to play fetch the past few days. In a way we’ve grown together, as he’s kind of an old man now, and I am in some ways too. Love you puppy dog. Cheers to more.

Movement Actualization

Nothing like a little exercise to get you back into the flow of life. We are simply born to move. One can eat healthy and sleep well, but if we’re sedentary, we aren’t fully actualized. It felt amazing to run today for the first time in a couple months. The rhythm of my breath and footsteps, my circulatory system churning, the ever changing landscape.. the run brought me back to actualization.

Want Good Do Good

I believe most people are good, and that we can do good together. We just need to become aware that most people want good, for themselves and their loved ones, and that we can achieve good for everyone. We might not have yet solved every technical problem, but that’s not the first step. The first step is to understand that we all want the same thing, that we are all mortal, and we are all human. We share this planet together. We can do good together; we can change the world.

What a Wonderful World

What a wonderful world we live in. I realize that every so often, that we live in a world with rain and puppy dogs and cup of noodles. All these little things aren’t so little when you consider them all together. They add up to an amazing universe, and we are so lucky to be a part of it.

The Answer

You learn things every day. The point is you keep going. We can, and probably should, all thank it all. Because gratitude is the answer.

Childhood Memory

Sally, I wanted to share one of my fondest memories with Gary. I remember many Stern Grove trips with you both, back in the old days, before all the terraces and ticketing. We would all sit out in blankets on the grass, enjoying good weather (for San Francisco), good food, good music, and good company. On one of these occasions, Gary played football with me for what felt like hours. I was still a small child, and he talked with me all day, laughing joyously as he would always do. I remember the character and emotion in his face; he was so expressive and full of life. When the concert was over, he threw the ball to me continuously, while the rest of the adults loitered and talked. Upon departing, he gave me his straw hat, simply because I liked it. “I can keep it?” I asked. “Sure why not? Of course. It’s yours.” I thought that was so cool. Even decades later, his kindness, his generosity, and his playfulness and joy still resonate in this world. With me, and with all who knew him. He made an impact with his life. With love

Pursuing No Mind

I’ve wandered toward a renewed interest in being present, partly from my recent consistency with meditation, and partly from reading some of Eckhart Tolle. It’s certainly been a journey back, and not at all easy. We’re thinking all the time, and the incessant noise is difficult for me to stop. However I have found it fun to try to “watch the thinker,” as Tolle puts it. I definitely believe there is something deeper than what we normally attribute as the ego or the self. It’s satisfying to explore it.

I still remember very vividly one of the two times I remained present for more than several moments. I actually don’t know exactly how long the duration was, because it was completely surreal. It was back when I was living in Beijing; I had been reading Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth,” and after digesting a particularly profound passage while riding the subway on my way home, I put the book down and let go. I was fully conscious, yet entered a different world. I could feel the ten or so people sitting in the seats around me. I could feel their bodies and their presence. I noticed the air of the train whipping down our car, seeing the bits of rubbish floating along the floor. All my senses were activated, and it was invigorating. I had “no mind.”

I’m seeking to return to that state, if nothing more to learn, to deepen my understanding and my experience of this life. It’s such a beautiful mystery. I can’t help but be grateful we have the chance to live it.

Wondrous Life

I’m not sure if it’s the weather finally changing to warm for good, or if we’re simply approaching the one third mark of this year, but it feels like we’re reaching new heights. Life is simply incredible. The older I get, the more I marvel at its complexity and wonder. We get to enjoy the most beautiful planet imaginable, and we have agency to explore the universe. How lucky we are, to have some influence over the course of its history.

Snowy Mountains

It’s been a cold and especially wet winter in Northern California. Us natives are beyond the point of complaining - what ever happened to best weather in the world? Yes we know we’ve needed the rain, that it’s helped alleviate the acuteness of our decade-long drought. But is this really what it’s like in so many other parts of the world?

And then I look at our mountains. They’re really truly just foothills, but they still give a very genuine sensation of being in a fertile valley between peaks. Our golden hills of California have  snow on them again today! They have glittered with a snowy reflection of sunlight for much of winter. The image offers a wildness to our tame valley, providing a sense of adventure and a window to the grandness of the earth. We can thank the rain and cold for that. And it just goes to show, you never know what comes from what we experience. It sure is a big beautiful amazing world, in such an electrifying universe. We are privileged to be here.

Already a Year

It’s difficult to believe it’s been a year since you’ve left Granny. The passage of time doesn’t feel right. It still feels unreal, and your sway over the family has yet to falter. I still think about you very often, and I try to draw strength for all you gave me; a way with words; an example of being kind and positive because it’s simply more pleasant; a mother who loved me like you loved your children. I still feel sad that we can’t spend time together like we used to, but I’m also optimistic that will heal and get better. A year later, I try to remember all the good things, to appreciate them, and to be grateful. I was so very lucky to have you as my Granny. Thank you for everything, I will continue to strive to make you proud. I love you.